Cloud ~ Thornswarm (Mice)

[Cloudedpaw]

Picture: (A Thornswarm mouse. NOt Cloud)

Name: Cloud

Gender: Male[/font

Age: Five moons

Rank and Clan: Leader~Thornswarm

Physical Description: Cloud is a large black and white tom with cinder gray eyes. Cloud's eyes are small and like dusty black berries. His nose is pink and almost a sparkling rose-pink circle. Cloud's whiskers are nearly invisible and the ones that are, are white. His ears are a tinted pink color and oval shaped. Cloud's face is oval-like and with scars from many battles from other swarms and one from a cat. His head is as round as a rock, and black and white. His neck is fairly short with a couple of battle scars on it. His shoulders are a little packed and completely black but, between his shoulders is white. His legs are small and thin but for a mouse they are strong and thick and normal sized. His paws are bare and pink with the sharpest claws. His body is black and white and thick furred with a couple of scratches and bites from other mice, rats and one from a cat. His tail is short for a mouse, from a hawk, and it is black.

Personality: Cloud is social but, very evil during battle. During battle he just calmly stays at the top of a high place, his so called deputy and his elite warriors. He mocks the other swarms or cats or whatever they are fighting, because they almost always win. The only time they do not win is when they are just finishing a fight and more of the other side come in. He always is thinking of a battle plan. Though he is a great and a cleaver fighter he makes a lot of friends with his welcome door open personality.

History: Cloud was born to a small, gentle gray female mouse named Fish. Her mate's name was Scar, he was a black and white Male. His brothers and sisters are still alive, ready for battle. His brothers are Scandle, Leaf, Snake, and ice. His sisters are Fiona and Hedgeleaf. He was born one the the weakest scraniest mice in the swarm, usually getting beaten and pushed out of the way. Then, during around the end of his training was when he became the strongest. He had been secretly training harder than usual and became the best of the best. In his gathering days he was the best fighter though, not the best food-finder or gatherer. He earned the rank of so called deputy and then after his leader Rock died he was the leader.

[♫.Wandersoul;;]

Okay, I'm a bit confused here. Questions --

1) Cloud is a mouse, right?

2) If he is...well. It would make an interesting plot twist, I'll grant that, but I'm debating whether we really have need for a plot twist at the beginning of the forum. =) So, justify this to me. What do you plan to do with a swarm of mice? Where will their territory be? If it's not on Clan land, why should we go to the trouble of creating more boards for this? Do you intend this to be a sort of "side" character, or are you asking for an actual leader position by making him leader of the swarm? As leader of the group, how will you keep control of this so it either remains a side plot or helps the main plot of the forum -- meaning, it doesn't take over every aspect of the plot? Etc etc, I think you can see what I'm getting at. =P

3)If he's not a mouse...I am utterly, completely confused. xD

[Cloudedpaw]

Yah. He is a mouse, and this could be part of the main plot? The mice lived in the twolegplace, eating crow food and sometimes rats. Now, they want revenge for the cats and they are moving into their territory, picking of the cats one by one and soon, when the cats are weakened the whole swarm invades every camp, killing and leaving almost no survivors. Then when the cats think thee is no hope left and very shadow covers the killer mice, they dissapear. Gone, just like that.

[♫.Wandersoul;;]

Alright. Again, that's an interesting plot. =)

Again, though, how would this tie in with the main plot? Remember, the main plot is that StarClan had abandoned the Clans because of their behavior; I can see how this would be a part of the main plot, but explain for me exactly how you would keep this from BECOMING the main plot -- do you see what I'm saying?

And what about the technical side of this? Is Thornswarm supposed to have equal status with the Clans, as in, its own set of boards, its own admin, etc? Or is it entirely plot-based? Who is supposed to be admin for mouse profiles? This part needs to be thought through very carefully, especially if you want Thornswarm to exist outside of a plot.

I'm very hesitant to make this any big part of the roleplay, purely because the roleplay hastn' started yet and we really have no need for a huge extra side plot. Still, it's a very interesting idea and I don't want to turn it down, either.

[Cloudedpaw]

Well StarClan is punishing the Clans right? What better way than to rot them from the inside then bring them the light of the futer when they bring themselves together, settle their diffrences and stand up for what is right? Also, this is just a plot-based thing on this site. The site, my site, that it originally cam from is going t be an every day thing. So, I could sort of be an admin to this part of the plot if you would say. Also, I can keep this from becoming the main plot by only sometimes killing a cat on patrol or by his or herself on a walk. You get it? Then we can settle, or now, when the big bang of the battle comes and everything is lost for one day. That two hours of death and revenge. The time when StarClan blazes with new cats and the time when the battle cries fill the hollow at Fourtrees or something. You get it? Ya, this can start when the Role play starts. I have been thinking this through for weeks, almost a month. I am testing it out on one site and setting it up on another so yeah. You know how the Clans fight? They have to get together, and fight for the will of StarClan and the will to live to defeat this great enemy.

[♫.Wandersoul;;]

Listen...sorry, but I'm still not comfortable with this idea.

First, I want to start off the roleplay open-ended: that's the purpose of beginning on such a vague plot statement. Everyone should have the chance to stretch their wings. We should be able to figure out our group dynamic. I'm afraid that if I allow this plot, it will subsume the rest of the roleplay and other ideas will go ignored.

Secondly, I'm worried about how well this plot would be handled. What you've said so far has done very little to allay those worries. It's clear that you're very enthusiastic about the idea, but what you've said so far is basically that the plot is great and it should be carried out; and, when I asked you about logistics, you told me you would be the admin and take care of things. You didn't tell me how you'd take care of them. In fact, I had the impression that you weren't aware of them when you first posted this; you posted it like a perfectly ordinary profile, without so much as an explanation of your idea. Furthermore, you asked to be admin and leader of the group but you posted absolutely nothing to enhance your credibility -- e.g., the leader application section, or an explanation of how you could make this work (in OOC terms -- it wouldn't be hard to roleplay this, but it would take work to set things up so the roleplay would WORK).

In a nutshell -- I, personally, would not be willing to take care of all the little odds and ends that sudden plots tend to crop up. Because I haven't seen you roleplay -- and because of the impression this profile gave me -- neither do I have confidence in your ability to handle it. Finally, I don't want to throw a huge plot that -- as far as THIS site is concerned, if not your others -- more or less came out of thin air.

So, for the time being, the answer is no.

If you'd like, we can keep this profile around for safekeeping and later days. Maybe, if the roleplay sags and we need a plot -- and you've proved to me that you have the leadership, inspiration and eye for detail that you'd need to pull this off as its admin -- I'll take it in the future.

I hope you can understand my reasoning. =) It's nothing personal against you, but there seem to be a lot of 'rogue ideas' running around the site as it is, and a lot of them -- this among them -- are a bit much for me to deal with.